Mr Brocklebank's World Wide Web Log

TWO of Liverpool’s most famous and longterm popular events – the Mersey River Festival and the Mathew Street Festival – both started without council assistance, but crucially with volunteer labour.

WHEN consultants Capita Symonds assessed Mathew Street Festival’s health and safety issues, its report throughout misspelt the street’s name as “Matthew”.

Would the company notice if a nought was missing on the cheque covering its fee?

LATE news: Liverpool Culture Company to take over next year’s Grand National at Aintree.

LIVERPOOL Culture Co top banana Jason “Completely comfortable with decision to cancel Mathew Street Festival” Harborow, officially reported on July 27 (as safety consultants were already circling overhead): “Anticipation is already building over the birthday weekend and we’re really pleased with the plans in place

FURTHER to the Mathew Street debacle, which should not have not crept up unnoticed, is that Liverpool’s 800th birthday parade practically takes place simultaneously with the festival. The latter is on Bank Holiday Monday and the parade a day later on Tuesday, requiring temporary stands either side of Castle Street. How could these ever have been erected in time?

LOCAL organisations received letters asking for nominations to attend Liverpool’s 800th anniversary celebratory Town Hall dinner, on August 28, highlighting this “wonderful milestone”.

It continues: “We have selected your organisation to purchase tickets at cost” – £150 – and how this is an “opportunity to nominate members of your organisation who would not normally attend such a prestigious event”.

REPORTS of the Earl of March barring chavvy dressers who besmirch his “glorious” Goodwood Races, reminds Mr Brocklebank of flesh-exposing sirens disporting themselves at last year’s Aintree Ladies’ Day.

When a startled Channel 4 Grand National racing commentator asked one fragrant female if she was not cold, she replied: “Nah, I’m wearin’ two thongs, love.”

A REPORT by Liverpool Culture Company to city councillors trumpeted that £2m of positive publicity was created by reopening St George’s Hall and the International Tennis Tournament.

ST HELENS hosted its third free summer pop festival with 15,000 crammed into Victoria Square to see the open air stage.

IN THE awarding-winning issue of the city magazine Liverpool, issue 9, for summer 2007, sports a feature called “A new chapter begins – docks reborn” illustrated with a close-up of rusty bollards.

HMS Ark Royal is due to steam up the Mersey in mid-September and Mr Brocklebank’s maritime spies indicate she will be on a peace-keeping mission for the UN.

ON THE day that the Festival executioners – the consultants Capita Symonds – arrived in Liverpool to dig the dirt on Mathew Street, VIP invites were dropping onto doormats at the homes of the great and the good inviting them to the champagne and canapé reception for the now-battered event.

THE full planning application for Liverpool FC’s new stadium was compiled with help from the club’s transport advisers.

FOLLOWING comments from Liverpool Culture Company that Mathew Street Festival ran into “elf ‘n safety” problems because it was “too popular”, the rumours desk says that to address this problem from now on only unpopular events will be staged.

LATE news: Former artistic director Robyn Archer will be recalled by Culture Company top bananas and promises one of her signature “less than exciting programmes”, that the Scouserati and Kopnoscenti previously greeted with a roar of apathy.