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Are the Fab Four really just Swiss gnomes?

NEVER one to exacerbate international diplomatic tension, Mr Brocklebank feels impelled to report that Merseyside sources firmly deny that the Swiss government, on behalf of a Zurich group for height- challenged bankers, is demanding that the four gnomes on the facade of the Hard Day’s Night Hotel should be restored to their rightful place in the Basle Cuckoo Clock, William Tell & Holey Cheese Theme Park.

"The truth of the matter is that these are figures based on a little known troupe of strolling players. Their names are George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Paul McCartney and John Lennon," says an exasperated hotel spokesman, "but I’m beginning to despair of anyone accepting that.

"Should we have a competition to rename them?" (see previous Brocklebanks).

Meanwhile, a bemused Japanese tourist gazed upward at a hotel satellite dish, singing a mournful lament: "Above us only sky . . ."

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